Sans, Sans, and Sans
by Bloxanoid
Summary: When Papyrus and the rest of the gang leave Sans for a trip, he decides to invite himself over. You can't cause trouble if you're hanging out with yourself, right? Adventure/Humor/Drama
1. Guilt

It was 10:52 PM, and Grillby was just cleaning up the bar before he would close up for the night. He had just gotten a shipment of food and supplies, including one-hundred gallons of ketchup, and completed sorting and restocking the pub. Most of the regulars had left already, leaving Grillby alone. Moving to the surface had not hurt business; if anything, it had flourished. Some of the nearby humans had decided to come visit, despite the fear of monsters the majority of humans still had. Frisk had helped to ease the transfer a little bit, but it wasn't perfect and there were still many who wanted the monsters back in the Underground. Occasionally a group of humans would stand outside the pub with their guns and torches, threatening the monsters. Grillby never took any action to push them out; they normally just got bored and left on their own.

Grillby put the plate he was cleaning down on the bar and walked to the front of the pub. He flicked off the "OPEN" sign and checked the new paper he had taped to the door to help boost the business:

 _ **Grillby's Pub**_ _  
Open 12 PM – 11 PM All days except Sundays and Holidays  
Surface Location Sale: 25% Discount for all Humans  
Still Looking for a Mechanic to fix the Jukebox  
A fiery taste straight from the Underground._

He smiled for a moment, happy with what he had written. It seemed to have worked today, but it was still unknown whether or not it would be successful long term.

Grillby glanced out the window to look at the sunset directly ahead of his pub. The first flurries of winter were beginning to set in on the small town of New Snowdin, bringing some familiarity and comfort to the monsters in an environment so different from the Snowy Forest. The new blanket of white had no footsteps in it; most of the others were asleep already. He could see why some monsters refused to exit the Underground, just as scared of the humans as the humans were of them.

"hey grillbz, gimme another round." Grillby sighed. His most regular visitor, the punster skeleton Sans, was still here. He was sitting at his usual seat at the bar, slumped over the table top with an empty ketchup bottle in his hand. A bit dribbled down his chin; a usual sight.

Grillby navigated through the chairs and tables, which were just cleaned, and went back behind the bar. He took the empty ketchup bottle from Sans' limp grasp and reached down below the top for another bottle. He placed it in front of Sans, who grabbed it.

"thanks."

"…" Sans took a sip of the ketchup and placed it back on the table with a thump. Grillby watched as he slowly downed the bottle, just like he had downed the previous eighteen today.

"…Sans…it's getting late…why are you still here?" He picked up the plate and continued to clean it with the rag while Sans looked up from his slouch. The pub was quiet.

"c'mon grillby, you know i got nothing better to do. i've got no'body' to go with. heheheh heh heh…"

"…"

"what are you looking at me like that for?"

"…Sans…that's the fourth time you've used that pun tonight…"

"hehe…heh…" Both of them were silent. Grillby, finished cleaning the last plate, slid it into the cabinet behind him.

"Sans…is this about missing the plane?" Sans' eyes disappeared.

"heh…how did you hear about that?"

"…Papyrus…" Sans started laughing and slammed the ketchup bottle on the table.

"hehehehe, that's my bro alright-"

"…"

"hehe…"

"Sans…there's nothing you can do now…I know you feel guilty but…you just have to move on and have fun while you can." Grillby hung his rag on a hook under the countertop and grabbed his keys to the pub on the back wall. He walked up to the front door and locked it from the inside so no intruders could steal the priceless stash of food from him. Not many people were willing to sell food to monsters, let alone one made out of fire. He had to be efficient with what he got.

"aw grillbz, you going already?"

"…Sans it's past closing…you have to go too." Grillby turned off all the lights, the only illumination and sound coming from the crackling and burning of Grillby's head.

"yea, i guess you're right grillbz." Sans' put the bottle on the table and jumped off of his bar seat, landing solidly on his two pink slippers.

"just put it on the tab-"

"…It's on the house this time…" Grillby looked at him one last time over the shoulder.

"…See you tomorrow Sans…" Grillby turned his head back forward and left through the fire exit, closing and locking the door as he went through. Sans activated his aqua/yellow eye and teleported outside, settling down on the snow.

"hehe…it's beautiful tonight." While the world was quiet and lacked a theme song, the full moon illuminated the pine trees and quaint little houses, giving the snow an almost metallic sheen. The slow falling of the snowflakes reminded Sans of home. His old home.

He walked slowly down the road towards his new/teleported house, his hands in his hoodie pockets and a smile on his face, hiding the guilt he felt towards Toriel and the others. This morning they were supposed to take a human bus to the airport to take a long trip around the entire Earth, to places monsters had never been, even during the time the monsters were first on the surface.

"IT WILL BE FUN!" his brother said, enthusiasm in his voice. Unfortunately for Sans, he had managed to lose his plane tickets in the giant tornado in the corner of his room, causing great trouble and havoc throughout the group. He, Papyrus, and Tori had tried hard to find it, but they were unable to locate it before it was time to go. Tori apologized to him and said he had to stay behind and that it would end up being okay even though all the money spent on his tickets were wasted. He knew it really wasn't okay; those tickets were really expensive, even for the former Queen.

He brought his left hand across some of the pine trees he passed by, dispersing the snow that had accumulated on the needles. He was happy the Snowdin crew had decided to settle down here, not far from the mountain, as the winters here were said to be similar to that of what he experienced in the Underground.

Sans took his new mobile phone out of his hoodie pocket and unlocked it with the password he had set up: "DDDAGSGFDFG." Seemed catchy to him. He looked at the phone app and saw that he had about fifty-seven voicemails from his brother. He opened the app and listened to the voicemails, most of them asking how he was, if he had eaten, and telling him not to get into trouble.

"ah, home." Sans stood in front of his house, which was teleported up to the surface by the one and only Sans himself. The lights inside his house were on, the door lights illuminated just as he left him. About an inch of snow had collected on the roof shingles and steam was escaping from the chimney, melting the snow that landed near it.

Sans tilted his head, slightly confused. He didn't remember leaving the lights on or the fireplace lit. Even though he was lazy, even he was green and tried to conserve energy. Besides, that's what he basically did for a living, right?

He silently walked up to his front door, his aqua eye pulsating dimly in the back of his eye socket. He brought his ears (or where his ears would be due to the lack of said ears) close to the door. He could hear jumping on the couch inside and the excited cheers of someone. The tone of the voice sounded familiar, but he shook it off as impossible. Why would that person be here at this time of day?

His eye glowed as he swung the door open with telekinesis and summoned a Gaster Blaster behind him in case the intruder was hostile. His eye instantly disappeared as he noticed it was just the kiddo jumping on the couch.

"hey kid, i thought you were with the others."

 _*You tell Sans you stayed behind with him._

"aw, that's sweet kid."

 _*You tell Sans it's just you and him._

"yea, it is."

 _*You tell Sans it's either you or him. Only one can survive._

"heh, whaddaya mean kid?"

 _*You tell Sans that he's in your way._

"what…" Sans' two white eyes disappeared as he watched Frisk's pink striped blue shirt morph into a green shirt with a single yellow stripe. The hair color brightened and he watched as the typically passive face of Frisk turned into the threatening, aggressive red smile of Chara. The red knife glowed into existence, and Chara continued to jump up and down, staring at Sans the entire time.

 _ ***KILL HIM. =)**_

Chara jumped at Sans, knife in hand, and Sans covered his head with his arms, bracing for the surprise attack. However, just as the knife would have gone through him, Chara turned into snow. When his eyes returned, he saw the fireplace was dark, the lights were off, and the living room was still the same as he left him. It was all a hallucination. He breathed heavily as he stumbled over to the couch past the sprinkled rock and laid himself down upon the comfy cushions. He brought his left finger up and slowly closed the door behind him. He could see the light dusting had picked up and turned into a blizzard, the howling of the whizzing snow whistling against the windows. The drapes fluttered lightly as the wind blew through the small cracks in the glass.

He leaned his head back onto the couch rest and sighed. It was all quiet in Snowdin Town.

He was alone.

* * *

 **I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter of Sans, Sans, and Sans. If you liked this story or have constructive criticism for me, please let me know. Feel free to leave a review if you wish.**

 **I'll see you all in the next chapter!**

 **-Blox**


	2. Sanscentric

**A/N: Oh hey guys, what's up? This story may include some AUs you've never heard of before, just to let you know ;). If you're curious about any of them I'm sure you can look them up online. :P**

 **On to the story!**

* * *

Sans woke up the next morning lying face down on the carpet, a couple empty ketchup bottles beside him. There was a throbbing in the back of his head that wouldn't seem to go away, and he felt disoriented and dizzy. The floor was cold and the rest of his body was still half-asleep, unmotivated to move. One of his pink slippers had fallen off in the middle of the night and his hoodie was sprawled haphazardly on his body, the right sleeve having come off his arm. His white shirt was stained with ketchup.

Sans used his telekinesis to slowly lift himself to a standing position, but the use of his powers caused his headache to spike and gave him a sudden sensation of vertigo. He stumbled back and forth a couple times before tripping over one of the bottles and falling onto the couch. He gagged a couple times, spasming every time.

"looks like i ain't using any of my powers today." Sans stood himself up from the couch, this time without telekinesis. He slowly dragged his feet towards the door to get a bit of fresh air, but when he opened the door a huge wave of snow surged into the house, taking Sans with it. He grabbed the couch and held on for dear life, waiting for the snow wave to calm down. By the time it did, there was about three inches of snow on the floor, and he could see that last night's blizzard had dropped about three feet of snow down on the town. They really were a new snowed in town.

"oh you have to be kidding me." Sans hurried up the stairs and opened the door to his room, the flames disappearing as he entered. He slid open one of his drawers and grabbed a long hose, inspecting it for any possible leaks.

"eh, this should do." Sans took one end of the hose and snapped it onto a latch that was bolted into the wall next to the tornado, pointing it towards the whirlwind of air and trash, and took the other end down with him to the living room. He used the hose to vacuum up the snow, sending it through the trash tornado. He hummed Megalovania to himself as he worked his way through all the way to the kitchen. When he was finished, he brought the hose back upstairs and rolled it back up to put in his dresser.

Sans pulled his phone out of his hoodie pocket to check the time, but the battery flashed on the screen; his phone was dead, and he didn't have a charging cable or block on him since Papyrus had decided to take all two of the cables and block pairs they had on the trip. Since there was three feet of snow outside and he couldn't use his powers without doubling over and vomiting, there was only one place to go to get his phone charged. He glanced to his left to check the time on his alarm clock and saw it was 11:37 AM. He had slept in, but not nearly as much as he wanted to or needed to.

Sans sighed to himself; he had not been to that place in quite awhile, and he didn't even know if his method of entrance was still functional. However, between staying comfortable and having Papyrus yelling at him…well that was a no brainer there. Literally.

Sans snatched his missing pink slipper out of the tornado and fixed his hoodie jacket so it looked at least somewhat nice and tidy. He quickly ran downstairs to grab a bottle of ketchup for the trip and put the quantum physics/joke book back on the table while he was at it. He decided to stop himself at his door.

"okay, here we go…" Sans stuffed the ketchup bottle and his phone in his left pocket before setting up in a running stance.

"let's see if i still have my agility…" Sans took off sprinting towards the tornado, Megalovania playing in the background as he charged towards the whirlwind. Right when he was about to enter the tornado he tripped over some object and flipped, sending him spinning into the storm. Just when he thought he was going to slam into the wall, the tornado began to fade away and was replaced with dark and light purple swirl as he spun controllably through inter-dimensional space. Unfortunately for the skeleton, this didn't help his headache or his dizziness.

"i got some chills in my bones-BLEAAHHHHH!" Sans vomited forwards, launching spewed projectiles from his stomach (or magical representation of what would be a stomach) in rippled around him as he continued to do infinite numbers of backflips. The spinning pattern of purple began to intensify, and Sans' vision was now tinted dark purple, almost as if he was high or something.

Out of nowhere, the purple spirals disappeared and Sans crashed into a marble-tiled floor, creating such a loud crunch that it echoed throughout the entire hub. His head had cracked all the tiles it had landed on and his body ached everywhere, the headache still lingering. Surprisingly, he hadn't broken any bones during the encounter.

"ughhhh…oh god." He slowly brought himself up to his hands and knees and checked his pockets. It seemed like the ketchup bottle hadn't ruptured and his phone had not cracked. He shook his head a couple times to clear up his vision, but he still didn't feel the best.

"Sans…is that you?" Sans turned his head to look above him and saw the silhouette of a figure wearing a scarf and a hoodie around their waist. They seemed to be holding some sort of thick staff and had eyes that kept changing color and shape.

"ink buddy old pal, help me up, wouldya?" Ink's eyes turned into purple semi-circles and his smile turned into a slightly annoyed frown. He reached out with his left hand, which Sans grabbed. He pulled Sans up and gave him a smile.

"Sans, it is you! You haven't been back in awhile, why are you here?" Sans shrugged, his hands back into his hoodie pockets.

"papyrus and the others went on a trip without me and my phone is dead. papyrus took all the cables."

"Wait…Sans…did they _leave_ you or did you _lose_ something and you couldn't go?" Sans laughed and winked.

"you know me too well ink."

"Ahhhh, that's a classic. Nice to have you back bud." He slapped Sans on the shoulder and turned him around.

"You know, you really have to work on your landings again. You're really rusty."

"i tripped over something going in ink, that's not my faaauul-" Sans' voice trailed off as he looked away from Ink and saw what was actually in front of him.

"Yeah, it's magnificent, isn't it?" Sans' eyes disappeared in awe as he took in the sight.

"you guys have…well…done a few 'expansions' since the last time i was here, huh?"

"I guess you can call it that," chuckled Ink, swinging his paintbrush around. Sans was standing in a forty-foot-wide marble circle suspended in the exact center of a giant glass sphere that seemed to stretch a kilometer in every direction he looked, connected to pathways that spanned the inside of the ball. There were numerous other similar marble circles located at different elevations, some with buildings or tele porters located on them, or pathways leading to enclosed rooms built on the side of the sphere. On the larger marble circles were elevators that could take you down to a lower level or up to the roof where you could view the sky from the outside. The glass itself was built in a triangular pattern, gridded together to form the outside of the sphere. The light refracted through the prisms and illuminated the place with both rainbows and solid light.

That wasn't the only thing that surprised Sans. No matter where he looked, he could see _him_ walking around on the pathways or sitting talking to himself at a restaurant. This combined with the vast proportions of the structure ran chills up Sans' spine. The last time he was here he remembered being able to see him everywhere he went, but it wasn't nearly the size it was now.

"damn, sans central really is something now."

"Yeah, no kidding Sans. We invited you here for opening, but you never came. Or RSVP'd. Or even responded." Ink blinked, his eyes turning to polygonal shapes.

"oh, that's what that was?" Ink facepalmed.

"Sans…"

"hehe, oops." Ink waved his hand, dismissing the statement.

"Whatever, it's all fine and dandy now. Come on, I'll take you to _Bone Appétit_ and we can meet up with some of the others." Sans' eyes brightened as he scratched his head. That was his favorite place in Sans Central. The food was great, and the comedy they had were real bone ticklers. Even he did some stand-up there back in the old days.

"it's still open?" questioned Sans. Ink's eyes turned into yellow suns and stars.

"Of course it is! The food's amazing, why wouldn't it be?" Ink led him down one of the pathways leading to another large marble circle. Leaning over the steel railings, he could see all the way down to the bottom, crisscrossing pathways and circles going in and out of his view. He continued to look around, hands in his pockets, as he followed Ink to an elevator. They both stepped in and the door shut closed. Ink pressed a button and he slid his feet into some straps located on the floor.

"why would you need that?" Ink brought his scarf up and held in a laugh.

"Oh, you'll see. I recommend doing the same.

"ink, it's just an elevator, why would I need to-" The elevator dove straight down, going from zero to something really fast almost instantly. Sans slammed into the ceiling and Ink burst out laughing.

"holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit-."

"Hahahahaha Sans! What did I tell you?!"

"i regret all my life decisions!" The elevator slowly came to a halt, dropping Sans to the floor. He laid there for about thirty seconds, absolutely drained of everything.

"Come on Sans, we're almost there." Ink grabbed him by the hoodie and dragged him out by the elevator, his eyes now red scribbles. Sans' eyes had vanished from the sockets and his face was frozen in a stunned expression. His feet and legs squeaked along the marble flooring, unleashing a terrible sound that would hurt to hear. After about three minutes of dragging, Ink dropped Sans' hoodie and looked to his right. Sans, noticing he was no longer being dragged, got up and looked at Ink.

"what are you looking aaaaaaa-."

"Sans, are you going to continue to do that or what?"

"probably."

"Yeah, I thought so." Sans looked at his favorite restaurant, _"Bone" Appétit_ , which was run by various Sanses from cooking AUs. It was a two story building that looked like your stereotypical coffee shop or Panera (not French, cuz ha), with the name of the restaurant glowing above the front door. The outside walls were made of brick, and there was a bit of a green roof extension where the first floor met the second floor. A giant glowing sandwich sign was rotating on a pole located at the top of the building; Sans supposed you'd have to make a statement like that in a place like this.

"jesus, they must have made a lot of money." Ink pulled out his phone and opened the Yelp: Sans Edition app.

"Yeah, it's rated 4.5 bones out of 5 Gaster Blasters."

"what the-"

"Don't ask." Sans went quiet.

Sans followed Ink as he walked up to the front door. Sans read the sign placed on the glass near the door:

 _ **Bone Appétit**_ _  
Open Literally Almost All Day, Hours May Vary  
A Hotpot of AUs coming together to come up with creative new dishes  
Sanses only  
pun_

Sans had seen two of these things already in the past two days. Maybe it was becoming too much.

The bell rang as Ink swung the door open and entered the restaurant/coffee shop place. Sans quietly followed in suit. CookTale!Sans came out from behind a wall and went up to the seating station.

"Oh hey Ink, were you here to-" CT!Sans noticed Sans next to him.

"Oh hey Sans, long time no see! How have you been?" Sans shrugged again.

"got a bit of a headache, but besides that and slamming into the floor multiple times, i'm all good." CT!Sans burst out laughing.

"He didn't put his feet in the straps, did he?"

"Nope," replied Ink, a huge smile on his face. They both started laughing at Sans.

"haha, very funny guys. now, 'sand'which one of you would be kind enough to show me where i'm sitting, before i get myself deeper into this 'pickle?'" CT!Sans looked at Ink.

"You're taking him to?" Ink nodded.

"Yeah, you two, come this way. And I will presume you want the regular, Sans." The two followed CT!Sans through a labyrinth of seats filled with Sanses, up the stairs to the second floor, to a booth where two other Sanses were already sitting, not really talking to each other. CT!Sans left Ink and Sans standing in front of the booth, waiting for something to happen.

"…Ahem," coughed Ink. The two looked up.

"INK! HOW ARE YOU TODA-" Blue noticed Sans. "MWEH HEH HEH! IT IS LAZY ME, FINALLY BACK HERE AT SANS CENTRAL!" Sans smiled awkwardly. He didn't deal very well with Blueberry's enthusiasm.

"Well it's fucking classic, isn't it," mocked Edge/Red, looking back down at his phone.

"Why do you two keep dragging me into this shit?"

"HEY, DON'T USE THOSE WORDS AROUND ME OR MY BROTHER WILL COME AFTER YOU!" Red shrunk back into his hoodie, causing Sans to snort a bit.

"Can we sit down?" inquired Ink.

"Sure, whatever." Sans took the seat next to Edge and Ink the one next to Blue.

"So…" began Ink, "what have you two been up to?"

"I INVENTED A NEW RECIPE FOR TACOS TODAY!" shouted Blue, "I THINK IT'S BETTER THAN BEFORE!"

"If you mean edible, then yeah, it's better," muttered Edge. Sans chuckled a bit at the remark.

"Edge?" He looked up from his phone for a moment, the red eye in the back of his socket glowing brightly.

"What the fuck do you think?" he spat, "I'm being dragged around by you two idiots, especially since nobody else can tolerate my 'bullshit' for an extended period of time." He made quotes in the air with his hands, causing Ink's eyes to change and him to cover his mouth with his scarf. Sans leaned back in his spot and his eyes dimmed a bit, trying to relax despite the incessant headache.

"Sans?" He perked up a bit.

"yea?"

"I thought you needed something…" Sans thought for a bit.

"oh yeah, that's right. do either of you have a charger?" Blue shook his head.

"Yeah, I got one, but you have to do one thing for me," laughed Edge. Sans' eyes disappeared; this never ended well. Edge got a piece of paper from his pocket and wrote something in red ink with a bone pen he summoned. He handed it to Sans.

"Say that to your Toriel." Sans glanced over it.

"i like watching goat p-" He punched Edge in the shoulder, who started laughing.

"PFFFFFFFFFFFFF, your face was good enough. Here." Edge grabbed a block and cable out from his left hoodie pocket and tossed it to Sans, who plugged it into the outlet on the floor.

"MWEH HEH HEH! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO LAZY ME?" Sans laid back once again.

"well, i was _supposed_ to go on a trip with the others, but i lost my tickets-" Edge snorted loudly.

"Ha, you fucking idiot, I can't believe you did that."

"MWEH! WATCH THE LANGUAGE!"

"Yeah, and what are you going to do about it?" Blue summoned a bone staff.

"THE MAGNIFICENT SANS WILL BEAT YOUR SKULL IN WITH A STICK!"

"Bring it on you piece of-" Ink grabbed both of them and they both froze.

"Jesus Christ, no more of this fighting, please." They both slumped back, upset.

"So immature," whispered Ink to Sans as he was drawing a unicorn on a napkin.

"yea…right…" CT!Sans returned with a BLT and a bottle of ketchup on a tray. He gave the sandwich to Ink and the ketchup to Sans.

"Undercooked!Sans says hi. This is on the house." CT!Sans tucked the metal tray under his arm and walked back down the stairs. Ink's eyes turned into stars as he took a bite out of the sandwich.

"This thing is always good." Sans took a sip of the deluxe ketchup and smiled. It had that same ol' taste.

"So, Sans," mumbled Ink between bites, "since you're alone for awhile, what are you going to do?" Blue and Edge were also looking at him, curious to see what he would say. Sans shrugged.

"i dunno to be honest. i don't really have anything planned." Edge slammed the table.

"Since when did you have anything _planned_?"

"fair enough." Blue raised his hand and started jumping up and down.

"OOH! OOH! THE MAGNIFICENT SANS HAS AN IDEA!"

"What is it you little fucking maniac?"

"LETS ALL HANG OUT AT LAZY ME'S PLACE!"

"WHAT?" shouted literally everyone else.

"Are you insane?" asked Ink. "Remember the last time that happened?" Sans tried to remember what happened the last time. From what he could recall, it involved exactly fourteen dumplings, a fire hydrant, and two-and-a-half tons of deodorant.

"Pff, I smelled good for about a month," said Edge. He paused for a moment before his eye brightened up.

"It wasn't good thing, you dumbasses. Don't get any wrong ideas." Ink laughed.

"MWEH! WE HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN AWHILE, WHY CAN'T WE DO IT AGAIN?! I'LL BRING TACOS!"

"what do you mean we haven't done something like that in a while? there was a sans reunion a couple years ago."

"Sans, we had to fight off Error from eating all the cookies," grumbled Ink. "It was much more a food fight than a reunion." He shrugged.

"I mean Sans, in the end it's up to you. It's your place; you can do what you want to do with it." Ink touched the tip of his paintbrush, which was leaning against the seat, and cleaned it off with a bit of water from a vial.

Sans thought about it a bit while looking out the window of the coffee shop/restaurant. He watched as multiple Sans walked to and fro around Sans Central, talking to the other Sans as they went. He _kinda_ missed that. On the other end, it tended to get a bit crazy whenever he had other Sanses over. Especially if you had Papyrus in the equation. Fortunately for Sans, Papyrus was gone on vacation. He did have alone time to do _whatever_ he wanted…right?

Sans shrugged and smiled.

"you know what? i'm in. i mean, i can't get into any trouble if i'm just hanging out with myself, right?" Blueberry did a fist pump.

"MWEH HEH HEH! NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Blueberry jumped over the seat backing and ran down the stairs, almost running into Geno, whose white glitch buzzed a bit. Edge's eye dimmed a bit.

"OH you have to be fucking kidding me here-," Ink blocked Edge from speaking anymore with a napkin ball. Edge shouted intelligible expletives with the napkin gag.

"Sure, I'm in if you're in."

"MRRMFMFMRPFMPMRPMFMF!" shouted Edge. Ink laughed.

"No more cursing."

"Mrmph." Ink dissolved the napkin gag and Edge took several deep breaths.

"If you ever do that to me again, I swear to god…" Ink laughed. Sans got up to let Edge out of the booth as he stomped away. Sans turned to Ink.

"I hope you know what you're doing with this…" Sans shrugged.

"like i said, i can't get into much trouble if i'm hanging out with myself." Ink's eyes turned into a series of dots and lines.

"Okay…if you insist." CT!Sans came back up and Ink grabbed a giant gold coin out of his pocket and flipped it to CT!Sans, who caught it.

"Here's a tip, not that you needed it. Just a motion of gratitude."

"Thanks Ink. Have a good one." Sans followed Ink back down the stairs and out the door, the bell ringing as it swung open. He tapped Ink on the shoulder as they walked back to the elevator.

"Yeah Sans, what is it?"

"i forgot my phone."

"Hey, no worries. I'll wait here." Sans turned around and his eye burned as he teleported back up to the booth. Unfortunately, he forgot about his headache, and the pain seared throughout his skull as he exited the teleportation.

"aw carp," he said, having landed next to a cooked carp. His vision suddenly blacked out and he felt himself emotionless in space. When his vision returned, he saw a figure wearing a black turtleneck resembling a skeleton.

"g-gaster? what do you want?" Gaster was silent.

"g-gaster?" Then, he spoke.

"SHOOBY DOOBY DOBBY DABBY DOOBITY WOW, SHA SHOOBY SHOOBY SHOOBY DOOBY SECRET SECRET!" Sans facepalmed.

"that was very helpful." Gaster dissipated and Sans found himself standing in Judgment Hall, the kid at the other side, knife in hand, ready to strike. Premonition began to play in the background.

"why am i seeing this now?" Frisk struck with the knife, Sans dodging out of the way, his eye glowing as he blasted the kid. However, Frisk had the Chara smile, without the Chara outfit. This can't be possible, unless…

Time froze, and Sans landed softly, the kid preparing to rebound for another strike. He watched as Gaster emerged again from behind a pillar.

"please tell me you aren't going to make that hideous noise again," he muttered. Gaster shook his head and spoke, but Sans couldn't decipher the wingdings.

"hold up, let me change my thought process…" Sans focused hard as he transferred from regular language to wingdings, allowing him to communicate with Gaster.

"what is it you want?" Gaster paced around the pillar.

"Sans, you have to be careful out there. I hope you realize what this means here." Sans glimpsed back and forth between Gaster and Frisk, who was still frozen in time.

"gaster…this isn't my timeline is it?" Gaster nodded.

"Correct."

"then why am i seeing this-."

"Because if you are not careful Sans, you could seriously alter several timelines," he remarked. "You could get yourself permanently integrated into them, or worse render them dysfunctional."

"i thought carrot handled this-."

"Sans. This is a possible future, right here. One simple slip-up in your fun, and you could change _everything_. Especially with Error, who will likely figure out about your party and try and 'join' the fun."

"well that's great gaster."

"Sans you have to take this seriously." Gaster's form began to fizz into static.

"It seems my time is up Sans. Be careful." He completely dissipated and the real world smashed back into him like a sledgehammer. Probably because Blueberry had swung a sledgehammer and missed his head by about two inches. At least his headache was gone.

"HEY! WATCH THE FLOOR!" shouted Undercooked!Sans, who had left the kitchen. Sans drowsily looked up to see Blueberry bring the hammer back up for another swing.

"THE MAGNIFICENT SANS WILL WAKE HIM UP!"

"oh shit!" Sans rolled out of the way to dodge the sledgehammer and found himself standing on a seat.

"blue, i'm awake, stop!" Blue dropped the sledgehammer, which bounced down the stairs and landed with a crunch, all three Sanses watching cringing.

" _Ow, my foot!"_

"That's gotta suck for GB!Sans," muttered Undercooked!Sans, who looked at the cracks in the floor.

"You're going to have to pay for that at some point," he scolded, pointing at Blueberry, "but I'll just put it on the tab for now. Be careful next time." He left the room, mumbling something to himself.

Ink appeared out an ink puddle on the ceiling.

"Sans, what happened?" Sans scratched his head, just as confused as Ink.

"honestly, i don't know." He saw his phone and Edge's charger out of the corner of his eye and grabbed it. "i found my phone though."

"Okay, good. Let's go. Blue, don't forget your sledgehammer." The other two walked down the stairs, Sans trailing far behind. What did Gaster mean? Why did he show Underswap? What did those weird lyrics represent?

Sans shook the questions off. Anyways, he had a party to prepare for.

* * *

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter of Sans, Sans, and Sans. If you liked this story or have constructive criticism for me, please let me know.**

 **All AUs and the original Undertale belong to their creators, I do not own any of these characters.**

 **See ya next time!**

 **-Blox**


	3. Trailblazer

Sans, Ink, and Blue were walking down one of the pathways towards their level's elevator, passing by numerous different Sanses along the way. Sans wasn't really in the mood for too much talking, especially because of Gaster.

Ink nudged him in the shoulder.

"C'mon Sans, we're going to have some fun. Loosen up a bit, get those bones moving." Sans smiled and chuckled.

"that's not really me ink, you know that. both of you do."

"COLORFUL ME IS RIGHT! YOU CAN'T HAVE FUN WHEN YOU'RE THAT TENSE! MWEH HEH HEH!"

Sans shrugged.

"eh, dunno guys, this whole new place is fun and all, but i'm half ready to go home again." The trio crossed from the pathway into the level's main marble circle, the elevators located in it's center.

"Welp, you guys ready-." Suddenly, a figure screaming at the top of it's lungs zoomed by, leaving a path of fire behind him and stopping the trio in their tracks. Blue scratched his head.

"AH, SO THIS IS WHAT PAPYRUS MEANT BY MY SUGAR FIRE!"

Sans was about to say something but Ink brought his paintbrush up to his face, causing Sans to lean back, surprised.

"We don't talk about it."

"ok, geez." The three looked to their right as Mafia!Sans and Dream both ran onto the circle from the same path the running figure came from, both of them out of breath.

"Dream! How are you doing?" Dream leaned on his staff, exhausted.

"Somebody…let…Saness…in…here…" He coughed multiple times and took several deep breaths. Mafia!Sans held his pistol in his left hand as he leaned over, gasping for air.

"We had the fella all tied up, but somebody let 'em escape."

Sans tried to recount his mental database of AU Sanses. Saness…where did that come to mind…

His eyes disappeared when he realized who it was.

"oh you have to got to be kidding me." The five looked down where Saness had run and saw a huge line of fire following him.

"he's a real trailblazer."

"NOOOOO!" shouted Blue. The other four laughed.

"Not bad Sans," exclaimed Dream, "your pun expertise fails to disappoint." Sans winked.

"eh, i guess i'm on fire."

"PFFFFF!" Ink muffled his laugh in his scarf.

Mafia tipped his fedora and pointed towards the fire.

"We gotta stop 'em before somebody gets hurt by his…singin'"

"You mean MOGOLOVONIO?" asked Ink.

"Ye, that."

Sans heard faint screams of MOGOLOVONIO in the distance, as well as several surprised shouts from multiple Sanses. Ink looked at him.

"Sans, it's your party, your call."

"what, mine? since when was i in charge?"

"MWEH HEH HEH! LAZY ME, LET'S DO IT!" Dream and Mafia seemed indifferent.

Sans' aqua and yellow eye glowed as he shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets.

"this should be fresh and fun. i haven't done something like this since the last time i was with you numskulls."

"Oh it's on Sans," challenged Ink, spinning his paintbrush around. Blue summoned a bone staff and Mafia and Dream looked at each other and nodded.

"first to catch the meme wins 10000 g." Sans teleported away from the other four up to where he thought Saness would be. He glanced to his left and right, frantically looking for the lost trailblazer, when he heard a loud noise from behind him.

"oh sh-." Sans teleported out of the way of the sprinting Saness and summoned a bone wall to block him, but Saness simply ran straight through and continued on to the circle Sans was on, running around it's perimeter like a mad man.

Ink appeared out of a puddle in the middle and grabbed a red paint vial, tossing it into the air. He whipped his paintbrush through it and shot it at Saness, the paint forming a red rope around Saness' legs. He fell to the ground.

"DOO DOOD ODOODODDODODODODO!" shouted Saness at the top of his lungs. Sans and Ink both covered their...um…earholes, in pain.

Blue vaulted up from a level below and summoned a barrage of blue bones around the downed Saness, enclosing him in a cage. Mafia and Dream appeared from a ball of light, landing on a pathway connecting to the circle.

Yet, to the surprise of no one, Saness began to shake violently, Ink's red rope fraying. Sans readied a Gaster Blaster, but Ink brought his hand up and disintegrated it.

"hey bro, no fair."

"Sans, no blasters. You're going to fry this place."

Sans rolled his eyes and readied a bone attack instead, but he was suddenly pushed over onto the ground by an unknown Sans.

"Get out of my fucking way," shouted Edge, holding a sharpened bone like a combat knife. Sans looked up but Edge stepped on his head, pushing it back into the ground.

"hey, do you mind?"

"No, I only think."

"screw you." Sans summoned a bone attack and threw the bones at Edge, who deflected it with his bone knife.

"Hey, what the fuck are you doing?" Edge ran up to Sans and slashed at him, but Sans jumped back, dodging it easily.

"trying to win the prize money." He summoned a bone attack from the ground, pushing Edge back.

"Guys, stop fighting! Remember we're trying to catch Saness first!" cried Ink, trying to catch their attention. Unfortunately, Edge and Sans were two busy bickering.

"MWEH! HE'S ESCAPING!" Saness broke from his bonds and zoomed straight through the blue bones, passing right between the feuding Sanses.

"shit," they both muttered. The two teleported off to the next marble circle, where they ran into Geno again.

"What the hell are you two doing?" he muttered, his red scarf flying because of literally nothing. They both concentrated on the nearing Saness.

"stopping that."

Geno summoned a giant Gaster Blaster and pointed it at Saness, his hand acting as the scope.

"Let me handle it."

"Wha?" gasped Edge. Geno squeezed his hand into a fist, shooting the blaster. The white beam enveloped Saness, but he still emerged from it, screaming his song. He blasted by Geno, leaving his white glitches teleporting all over his body.

"Oh shit, he's heading towards the CORE!" shouted Dream, who had caught up to the three Sanses.

"dude, this is sans central, there is no core here-"

"YES THERE IS!" exclaimed Blue, who followed Dream through his light portal, "IT KEEPS THIS PLACE FLOATING IN THE AIR!"

"He's gonna burn the reactor, we're gonna go down if we don't do somethin' 'ere." Mafia twirled his pistol around.

At that moment, the entire sphere shook, chaos erupting throughout every Sans present.

"where the hell is the reactor?!" Geno pointed down to a black building near the bottom of the sphere.

"It's in there. How Saness got there so fast, I don't know, but-"

"i'm on it." Sans teleported, but not before Edge tagged on by grabbing his left hoodie sleeve. The two appeared on the stone path that led into the reactor building. They pushed one another as they ran towards the door, an orange and red light poking out from behind the glass. Saness had entered the building.

They both tripped and fell on top of each other as they flopped through the door. They could hear the screams of MOGOLOVONIO and banging of the walls on the other side of the building.

"this is a great team bonding activity."

"Now's not the time for a fucking 'team bonding activity,'" mocked Edge, imitating Sans.

"now you've pissed me off."

"BAD TOOOOOOM!" Neither of them were paying attention, again, and Saness had run around the corner right towards them. A giant Tom head appeared in the skinny hallway, pointed at both Sanses.

The Tom's mouth opened and launched the beam towards them, but Ink had appeared in front of the two, blocking the blast with a transparent blue paint shield. He grunted and grimaced as he pushed against the blast, the shield reflecting the light of the Bad Tom Blaster.

He turned to them, annoyed.

"If you two don't STOP fighting, this whole damn place is going to fall apart. Do you hear me?"

Dream appeared on the top of the tom blaster, causing it to look up, confused. He whacked it with his dream staff, making it disappear.

Edge shoved Sans, causing him to stumble a couple feet.

"It's your fucking fault we got into this shit."

"mine? why would it be mine?"

"STOP FIGHTING GUYS, PLEASE!"

"You got in the way of shit, Sans."

"you stepped on my head." Ink turned again.

"Guys-" The shield disappeared, and Ink was hit directly by a bone from Saness and careened into the wall, causing a few bricks to fall. Sans and Edge were head to head now.

"hey, we gotta stop this, otherwise we're endangering everyone here." Edge laughed then grabbed Sans by the head and threw him into the black wall.

"Fine, then I'll deal with it." He resummoned his bone combat knife and ran up towards Saness. Sans, his patience worn thin, stood up and teleported in front of him.

"i'm done fucking with you edge." He summoned a Gaster Blaster and shot straight at Edge, who nervously ducked to dodge the blast.

Everyone watched slowly as the beam of light neared the glowing reactor core, their eyes all shrinking.

"well…" The beam struck the core, causing everyone to float in the air. Dream, who had in the meantime bound Saness in a light rope, floated by.

"Welp, we're dead now." Ink glided, holding his torso where the bone struck him, and stared right at the two shocked Sanses.

"Well, what did I say?! You two wouldn't stop fighting, and now look. The place is going down."

Blue pointed out the glass door.

"HEY, WHAT'S THAT?!" They watched as Engineer!Sans barreled through the door, laying on a beach chair sipping beers, chuckling as he neared the reactor core.

"Y'all stop bickerin', I'll handle this." He flew off his floating rocket chair and pulled out his wrench and a piece of metal, as well as a blueprint. He adjusted the blueprint and turned it around.

"Hmm…let's try this."

Ink, who had went outside the reactor core to check something, flew back in, frightened.

"WE'RE GOING TO HIT THE GROUND!" he shouted.

"And…pow." Engineer Sans whacked the core with his wrench, causing the entire building to shake. Fortunately, the reactor core turned back on and everyone hit the ground with a loud crack.

"Looks like that's another problem solved." Engineer!Sans jumped back on his rocket chair and slowly exited, the others staring.

"I've had enough social interaction for one day." The door slammed shut as Ink stamped towards Sans and Edge, who were laying on the ground, holding their everything.

"I fucking told you guys TO STOP FIGHTING, and LOOK what you did? You threatened YEARS of hard work."

"uh, sorry-."

"Sans, don't even try to apologize. You're probably going to court for this, and there's nothing we can do about it." Sans and Edge both looked at each other nervously before turning to Ink.

"What the fuck do you mean 'court?'"

"aw shit, not the sans court."

"Yes the Sans court," laughed Ink, holding his paintbrush as a walking stick.

"but i have a position on that court-."

"Anyhow Sans, I'm not the one charging you." The glass doors burst open again (someone should just get rid of them) and a bunch of Police Sanses ran in and pointed pistols with Gaster Blaster barrels.

"Put your hands up! You're under arrest!" shouted one of the officers.

Sans and Edge both looked at the officers.

Edge stood up and laughed.

"Or else what? Are you going to shoot me officer?!" One of the police shot his pistol, grazing Edge's hood.

"And that was a warning shot kiddo. You better stay in line or the next one is aimed right at your forehead."

Edge gulped. The officers handcuffed Sans and Edge and led them out of the room, while Dream dragged Saness all the way back to a portal to be kicked back to his own dimension. Sans could hear all the outraged screams of other Sanses as the police escorted them to Sans jail. He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders.

"This is all on you, Sans," muttered Edge. "If we get fucking executed I'm blaming it all on you." Sans rolled his eyes.

"MWEH! DON'T GET TOO MUCH IN TROUBLE LAZY ME!"

"eh, whatever. this is all in a days work anyways." The officers led them into the giant blue Sans Police building and the door shut behind them, locking them away until their trial.

* * *

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter of Sans, Sans, and Sans. If you liked this story or have constructive criticism for me, please let me know.**

 **All AUs and the original Undertale belong to their creators, I do not own any of these characters.**

 **See ya next time!**

 **-Blox**


	4. Council of Sanses

Sans and Edge sat inside a cell in Sans Central Police Station, their hands handcuffed with anti-teleportation gloves developed by Science!Sans himself.

Edge glared at Sans.

"I swear to fucking god Sans, I've had enough of your shit for one day."

"pfh, i've had enough of my shit for one day too edge. you're not alone."

Edge smirked.

"Oh, so you're the humble one here now, aren't you?"

"hehe, yup."

Now that Sans wasn't being tossed around everywhere or forced to do something new, now he could actually sit down and think about-

The door to the cell shook, one of the guard Sanses unlocking it with a key.

"You two, come with me," the guard Sans said, "your trial is upon us."

Sans and Edge looked at each other, nervously.

"oh well, looks like it's now or never for us."

"Go die in a hole Sans."

"shut it you ass." The two started to shove at each other but the guard Sans got in between.

"If y'all don't stop, I'm putting you both in isolation if this trial keeps you here."

Edge laughed.

"And what are we on trial for, you pig?"

The police officer pulled out a notepad.

"Um, vandalism, annoyance, threatening the safety of multiple timelines, and ignoring a multiversal moderator."

"wait, annoyance is a _felony_ here?" asked Sans, amused.

"It is now," laughed the police officer. Edge started thrashing in his cuffs.

"I've had it with you fucking asshole. Once I get out of these cuffs I'm going to BBZBZBZBRZBRURZBRZ"

The police officer had pulled out a taser and zapped Edge, rendering him unconscious. The officer Sans pulled out a walkie talkie.

"Yes this is Officer Hotdog 418, one of our accused just passed out…yes I tazed him…yes it was hilarious….I'll tell you later." Officer Hotdog 418 turned to Sans.

"Now you, come, unless you want to be zapped too."

Sans shrugged.

"ok."

The officer led him down twists and halls until he reached a giant set of double wooden doors.

"In you go."

Sans stared him down as he nudged open the doors with his torso and stepped into the court room. It was a lot bigger than he imagined; he didn't remember the fifty-foot tall ceiling and the sitting room for what seemed like thousands of different Sanses, a significant portion of it full. The judges panel was also elevated about twenty feet off the floor, the accused led up a floating platform to meet them. And this was all made of wood or metal.

"holy shit."

Banging came from the judge's court.

" **May the accused, Classic Sans, step onto the platform."**

Sans shook nervously. He held a seat on this council, and they never had a single trial since…ever. How would they handle it now?

He stepped onto the platform, which began to whir and creak as the hydraulic systems slowly began to push him upwards, where he could be seen by the judges and the rest of the Sanses observing, including the jury.

Suddenly, the platform stopped moving up and instead plummeted downward, taking Sans with it. He screamed as he crashed into the wooden circle.

"Oh ye, almost forgot." Mafia!Sans walked in dragging a passed out Edge and tossed him onto the platform. The sneaky, fedora and suit wearing, cigarette smoking gangster Mafia was not the one Sans wanted to trust. He was wanted in his AU for…a lot of things, many of them unspeakable.

Edge's skull hit the wooden floor with a crack, causing a few "yikes" to reverb from the crowd.

"well that's unfortunate." The platform began to push upwards again, and instead of taking off downwards it stopped at the top, relieving Sans of much stress. However, it instantly returned when he saw the court.

Sans' seat as the Head Judge was empty, just as he suspected. Although, if it _was_ filled by himself, he knew there were some identity theft charges to be had later that day. Thank god that wasn't there. The name tag for his seat was labeled "sans the skeleton" in Comic Sans, his font. The spinning chair was covered in black leather, just like the rest of them.

Dream and Ink were seated next to his, left and right respectively.

"heh, _now_ that i'm not doing a bunch of stuff i can actually focus on winning this case."

Dream, a happy-go-lucky kid from a moderator AU, had his bright staff leaning against the judge's giant podium. His face, normally bright and cheerful, was replaced with a disapproving stare. Being an embodiment of good, he and his brother Nightmare constantly fought over the stupidest of things, including apples. Of course it was apples they had to of eaten to gain their powers. Sans knew that he would have to appeal to Dream's optimistic side rather than his rarely shown "shook" side in order to get his vote.

Ink, one of the top AU moderators, ran the Creative Realm, a place where he could monitor most of the AUS through small drawings on paper. He always had a sash with his paint vials strapped on, his giant paintbrush his main tool for fighting. He had a copy of Sans' hoodie jacket tied around his waist (Sans still didn't know how he got it), with a small black splotch of ink just to the left of his chin. His eyes always changed to represent his mood, and he occasionally vomited whenever he got nervous or excited. His eyes were thunderstorms today; no luck for Sans or Edge.

"hey ink, hey dream, how's it going," Sans laughed. Ink sighed and shook his head, his paintbrush strapped to his back.

"Sans, don't try to play buddy buddy with me, it's not going to work."

Edge moved from the ground, holding his head, prompting "oohs" and the occasional "ha, you owe me ten bucks."

"Urgh, what the fuck happened?" Edge tried to grab his head but he realized his hands were still cuffed. His red eye returned and he slumped over.

"Dammit, we're still in this shit of a mess." He wormed his way up the side of the platform to stand up.

"Now, Sans, Fell," said Delta!Sans, who sat to Dream's left, which was right from Sans' perspective.

"You two are accused of vandalism, annoyance to fellow Sanses, and threatening the safety of this entire Sans utopia. Do you understand these charges?"

Delta came from an AU where he came desperate enough to absorb one of the human souls to gain its powers, in this case the Bravery soul. This changed his personality from a Classic Sans to a fusion of Classic + Bravery. Not the typical kind of thing you'd see. He could be a bit reckless and crazy, but his powers benefitted enough that he was a force to be reckoned with. Just like with Dream, staying on his good side would end well for him.

"Why would you-" Sans stared at Edge with his aqua/yellow eye, causing Edge to shut up. Sans didn't want Edge messing anything up here.

"yes, we understand. but where's our lawyer?"

"Look behind you Sans," gestured Ink. The shadow of a giant stood over Sans, their face and body much taller than his. Or anyone's here, in fact. Smoke spewed off of their face, blocking the light.

Oh wait, it's just Carrot. The Underswap Papyrus had managed to find his way into Sans Central, even though Papyrus Place is where you should typically find him. Apparently someone had decided to call this judge over to this hangout. Blue's older brother, nothing could exactly faze him. He was much more similar to Sans than he was to Sans' Papyrus.

"Heh. Wassup Sans." Sans stepped back, shocked.

"one, how did you get here. two, why are you here?"

"Ink invited me. And I'm your lawyer."

"You're our f-" Carrot's right eye glowed orange in the back of his eye socket, shutting Edge up once again.

"Not around my brother you fool."

"S-sorry…" whispered Edge.

Science!Sans, the Sans who came from the AU where Sans was Alphys, was to Ink's right. He wore these giant glasses whose frames continuously changed shape, contrary to what ordinary physics would suggest. He built robots, served under the royalty, and made some pretty cool stuff, like the cuffs Sans was in.

"Guys, I suggest t-taking this a bit faster, my c-chemicals are going to overflow in a few-"

"Gah, Science, we told you we should have scheduled this earlier," laughed Delta. Science fidgeted with his glasses.

"uh hey, are we going to start, or…"

"Yeah guys, maybe we should begin." Altertale!Sans coughed on the side, taking the last seat next to Delta. He came from the AU where Sans was in Toriel's place, a generally gentle fellow who made some pretty damn good homemade hot pockets. He had a soft heart, but his love for puns was no weaker than any of the others in this room. Except for maybe Sans himself.

Error's seat was empty, as expected. After being banned from Sans Central, the AU hunter had gone missing for quite awhile. It was decided back when the Council of Sanses was formed that a force that wasn't necessarily "good" should be added to the Council in order to balance it out, in case someone like Dust or Nightmare came up as the accused. The chair on Sans' far right, next to Science's, was just collecting dust at this point.

"We will now begin the trial," shouted Dream, who slammed a mallet on the wooden circle.

"Will you two plead guilty to these charges?" asked Ink politely, following council protocol. Unfortunately for Sans and Edge, Carrot wasn't interested in doing such things.

Carrot slammed his hands on his podium.

"Sir, neither of my clients are guilty of what you have accused them of sir. They were just trying to protect this place from a rogue Sans, and that is all that there was to it. I do not see how they _maliciously_ made an attempt to kill all of you."

"Let's show them the evidence then," muttered Delta, nodding to Ink, who pressed a button on the podium. A giant holo-screen appeared, showing security footage of Sans and Edge fighting each other, proceeding with Sans blasting the reactor. Sans shrunk into his hoodie, ashamed.

"hehe…"

Carrot sweated a bit.

"As you can see," explained Altertale!Sans, "Sans was the one who broke the reactor core."

"it was on accident," shouted Sans, "can't we get this over with?"

Delta hit his leg on the table standing up, holding his knee in pain.

"S-so…you admit it. You damaged the core."

"yes?"

Edge continued to stay silent.

"Regardless of what else could possibly happen," stated Dream, "you are still responsible for the damage posed on our reactor. Luckily for us, Engineer!Sans was able to save the day."

Cheers erupted and the Sans on the rocket beach chair raised a beer. Whoever decided to combine the TF2 engineer and Sans was a genius.

"Ahem," coughed Edge, "does anyone here have any idea that this is fucking stupid? I mean like, nothing here is being taken serious, you guys are just mad that we captured Saness, and I want out of these fucking handcuffs."

Carrot waved his finger in the air, dissolving the handcuffs.

"Couldn't you have done that before you fucking asshole?"

"Watch it Edge, or I'll put them back on."

"ORDER IN THE COURT!" shouted Delta, who decided to use his head as the mallet.

"I will not have you stain our court with this mockery."

"heh, you have no guidance without me at the helm. you all know that, deep deep down."

"Sans," sighed Ink, "this isn't helping your case."

"well why wouldn't you just-"

Suddenly, loud footsteps came from below. A guard Sans had stumbled through the doors, blood oozing out of his mouth. His dark blue uniform was riddled by bullet holes and covered in blue wires. The crowd of Sanses gasped in shock.

Sans' eyes disappeared. Only one person could deal such a thing.

The platforms fell down to the ground as the guard Sans fell to the ground, chuckling to himself. Ink ran over to the fallen Sans and lifted him up so he was leaning on the wall. His eyes were darting everywhere, blood pooling on the ground.

"Ha…so this is how it ends for me, huh?" the guard muttered. Ink kneeled in front of him and looked into his eyes, his own both white circles. Ink was taking this very seriously. Most of the others were surrounding Ink and observing from the outside.

"Hey, stay with us. What's going on out there?"

"He's…he's back."

"Who's back?!" shouted Dream.

"Him. The AU Destroyer." All of their eyes vanished.

"Error." The guard's eyes closed and his head slouched back, motionless. His body slowly began to turn to dust until all that was left was something that resembled snow and a pile of a uniform. Ink stood up, solemn. A Sans playing TAPS on the trombone could be heard in the background.

Ink turned to the group of judges and accused, Carrot included. He nodded to the Papyrus, who vanished from the scene with a pop. There was no need for Carrot to be involved in this Sans quarrel.

"judge, are our charges dropped?"

Ink looked around towards the others, searching for any help. They were all more focused on preparing to fight Error rather than charge Sans.

"Yes Sans, for now." He smiled and waved his paintbrush around.

"We're going to have some fun," Ink laughed. Blue jumped down from one of the stands and landed next to Sans.

"MWEH HEH HEH! ERROR IS HERE?!"

Ink's eyes turned purple.

"Yes, Blue."

"I WILL TURN ERROR INTO A HOOMAN THEN CAPTURE HIM!" Blue's eyes turned into stars, confusing Sans.

"where did that come from?"

Ink shrugged.

"Doesn't matter. What's important is stopping Error before he can destroy Sans Central."

Sans and most of the other Sanses in that group teleported outside, their eyes blazing. Ink appeared from an ink puddle in front of them, leading the group.

"Oh, looks like he's just trying to have coffee," laughed Science. Altertale!Sans rolled his eyes.

"If by coffee you mean picking up _Bone Appétit_ and shaking the building with his wires, then yes. He's just having some coffee," he muttered.

Error was supported mid-air by support wires, his glitchy voice laughing maniacally. His body was covered in red, blue, and black Error signs, which transferred over to other things that came close to him. What seemed like hundreds of blue wires extended from his body, lots of them shaking the coffee house/restaurant Sans and the group were in only a few hours ago. Occasionally, Error would spot a rogue Sans trying to flee, then would wrap that Sans' body in blue wires and corrupt their soul.

"Grrgh," grumbled Ink. He dropped back into his ink puddle and reappeared on top of the coffee house.

"O-Oh, Ink. It's s-s-so nice to see you again." Ink pointed his paintbrush at Error.

"Come on Error, we talked about this! You can target any place _but_ this. Of course, I'll still stop you either way."

"Huh, still as cocky as ever Ink. Y-you never learn."

Ink cursed to himself and teleported back.

"No luck. You guys wanna fight him?"

Sans shrugged.

"i mean, it's up to you guys in the end."

"I'm tapping out of this one," muttered Science, "I have places to go." He tossed up a metal disc, which unfolded into a portable portal (heh).

"I'm with Science on this," replied Alter, "I'm going to go back home now."

Dream walked over to Ink and put his hand on his shoulder, causing Ink to turn and look at him.

"I'm going to have to go back to my AU and check to see if Nightmare is causing any trouble. Sorry about this." Dream summoned a light portal and disappeared, followed by Alter and Science, whose portal followed them out. Ink turned to Delta, Sans, Edge, and Blue.

"Well boys, what do you say about a little tussle with danger?" boasted Delta.

Sans chuckled and summoned a Gaster Blaster, eager to join the fun.

"even though you may have a human soul d, you can't beat the original."

"MWEH HEH HEH!"

"Fucking hell…now this?"

The other three turned and stared at Edge.

"Okay okay, I'm in…against my own will."

Ink nodded.

"Let's do it."

* * *

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter of Sans, Sans, and Sans. If you liked this story or have constructive criticism for me, please let me know.**

 **All AUs and the original Undertale belong to their creators, I do not own any of these characters.**

 **See ya next time!**

 **-Blox**


End file.
